Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
