Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
