Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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