I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
