why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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