so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
