We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
