it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
