OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
