Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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