I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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