no, he came in my armpit
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize