Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
