you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
