If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
