is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
