I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
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