I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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