playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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