i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
