thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
