Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
