She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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