What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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