He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
