what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
