at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize