I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
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