i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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