Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
