the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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