bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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