she looked like the before picture.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
