you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
