K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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