so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
