At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize