so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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