respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
