Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
