it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
