Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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