Having a random hookup so left but love u
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
