And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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