dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
