I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
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