So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
