I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
