Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
