Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
