I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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