This is not my ceiling
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
