That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
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