Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
