STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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