just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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