we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize