Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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