That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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