PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
