Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
