I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Is it penis luge time yet?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
