Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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