i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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